I remember one retreat speaker tells us this remark she heard from a man. He says he finds it amazing how women can actually bleed for 5 days and not die. I've got to give him credit for such introspection.
I've got my second day of period. It's a particlarly heavy but none of those terrible pains for once. May be this is why I've this capacity to look at it with grace and seeing red made me realize the power that flows from me as a woman
Even if that cycle means another one less from my resources (there goes another egg down the drain), another could-be life not met, still I am grateful. It is a reminder that I have the gift to help bring life. Maybe not now or not anytime soon but the possibility remains. For now, if there is a resource that I am learning to give birth to, its name is Patience.
A few nights ago, I had this dream. I was trying to go up some uneven thing. It was a difficult climb. I felt my side hurt after. Just then a panic thought came. I am pregnant, I forgot. A life is within and I forgot. I felt all of me suddenly have only thought and concern and love and fear for that which is inside my body. I never thought it could feel as real and as close as that.
I've always feared the thought of carrying another life. For the pain, for the discomfort, for the risks, the could-be tragedies and the what-nows.
But remembering that dream on my way to work, I felt again the power of that feeling within. Dreamt, imagined, hoped for, feared. While it sits inside in silence, it speaks, and breathes and beats at my breast, my womb and my veins and I felt my eyes bleed.
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Image Source: Google.com/www.4girls.gov
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